In my previous post about my RBF, I mentioned briefly that I was blessed with the double whammy; my RBF and the fact that I’m quiet. I don’t use the word blessed loosely I really do love the fact that I’m quiet. This characteristic lets me truly see and experience the people and things around me. Unfortunately in a world that praises and prizes extroversion, this does put me at a disadvantage and into some really uncomfortable situations.

1. I can’t initiate a conversation with a stranger let alone carry one on to save my life because I really dislike small talk

Scenario 1:

Person A: Hi how are you doing?

Me: I’m good thank you. *silence with a smile*

*Person A shifts briefly sees John and waves *hi John* while politely walking away

Scenario 2:

Person A: oh boy look at all this food, I’m going to have to eat everything because it all looks so good

Me: Yea *smiles*

*Person A turns and says the same thing to person B, person B answers with a witty reply: oh yes such is our woes. Both laugh while walking away*

2. I’m quiet, does that mean I’m reserved or am I a stuck up bitch?

People who don’t know me often think that I’m stuck up because I don’t tend to participate in conversations. I really am simply reserved and not that interested in your conversation (okay maybe a bit of a bitch too), but unfortunately people equate quietness with being bitchy.

3. I spend unhealthy amounts of time obsessing and replaying every social faux pas, mishap or botched conversation in my mind instead of telling someone.

This is truly a vicious cycle because the more I replay it in my head the worse it makes me feel which makes me think about it some more. I take a little comfort in the fact that humans are selfish beings and a lot of the times they’re thinking about themselves and not you.

4. Most of the times I have complete conversations in my head with myself without uttering a word.

Me: OMG so this totally funny thing happened at work today that I want to tell you about. Although it’s really more of a “you had to be there” type of scenario. What if I say it and you don’t laugh? *shrugs ah well maybe I’ll wait for a better story*

*In the meantime my fiancé is having a full on conversation in the car, out loud, with himself*

This makes me smile. Oh how I love him.

Years of working has taught me to put on a very good extroverted persona, I’ve even been called a social butterfly by a co-worker.  In a society that praises and prizes extroversion we must learn to adapt in order to survive, but we must not lose ourselves in the process.